


can i hold your hand?

by lovelqces



Category: The Dark Artifices Series - Cassandra Clare, The Shadowhunter Chronicles - Cassandra Clare
Genre: Angst, Lord of Shadows spoilers, M/M, One Shot, Post-Canon, all i can write is angst apparently, the dark artifices spoilers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-06
Updated: 2018-05-06
Packaged: 2019-05-02 21:32:35
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 786
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14553966
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lovelqces/pseuds/lovelqces
Summary: after the death of livia blackthorn, kit watches the blackthorns crumble. all he can do is watch as the most important person to him retreats from his former self





	can i hold your hand?

The grieving of the entire Blackthorn family was too heart-wrenching for Kit to watch. Each family member seemed to barely be able to wrap their heads around the fact that Livvy was gone, let alone try to begin to cope with it. Of course Kit was devastated as well, but he knew he couldn’t begin to feel what the Blackthorns were feeling. These people had been through unbelievable trauma throughout their lives, and they were still so young. This life was wrongly taken from a merely fifteen year old girl.

Worst of all, Kit had to watch the most important person in his life crumble to pieces under this tragedy. The only thing was, Ty reacted in such a closed-off way. Ty had collapsed that day in Idris and when he had awoken and learned the news of the death of his twin sister he seemed to have visibly dulled.

This was almost even more painful to watch for Kit than if he would’ve sobbed and broken down.

Kit knew Ty. He knew what made him feel as if there were thousands of bees buzzing inside his head. He knew what made those feelings wash away. So when Ty sat in his room for weeks, only leaving to sit at the dinner table and stare blankly at his food, Kit knew he was tormenting inside.

Kit had also noticed one day after a painstakingly silent dinner with the Blackthorns- plus Emma, Cristina, and Diana- Ty removed the headphones from around his neck, sat them gingerly on the table, and left to his room.

This especially worried Kit. Even on some of Ty’s worst days, Kit would never fail to see the light in his eyes as he listened to his flowing classical music. The raven haired boy would seek comfort in the melodies. Kit saw the shine whenever the light melodies would slowly crescendo until the music reached fortissimo, then decrescendo back to a neutral mezzo piano. Or when he was theorizing murder cases and investigating in the LA Institute library. When he would tell Kit all the stories of Sherlock Holmes he could remember- which was quite a lot, but Kit never complained. He enjoyed listening to Ty talk about the things he loved.

When he saw the deliberately forgotten headphones, he knew it meant Ty couldn’t find comfort in the things he used to be able to. He knew the glimmer had left his eyes. Once or twice, Kit had tried talking to Ty or knocked on his door at night, but never got a response. He gave Ty his space, knowing he would appreciate not being overwhelmed with people confronting him.

Then one day, Ty wasn’t the first one to leave the dinner table. Nor was he the second or third. He sat while each person was away from the table. Kit refused to leave Ty alone so he sat next to him silently, until Ty finally spoke for the first time in weeks and said in such a small voice it was barely audible, “Can I hold your hand?”

Kit was so surprised by the sudden question that he sat for a few moments before realizing that Ty wanted support and needed to know he was there. He reached to intertwine his fingers with Ty’s. The darker-haired boy immediately tightened his grip on Kit’s hand, and Kit returned the pressure. He knew that this made him feel grounded. More connected to the Earth.

Ty just stared at their locked hands and meekly said, “Promise not to leave me, Kit.”

Kit felt unshed tears prick his eyes. “I’d never dream of it.”

These words caused Ty to fall into Kit’s arms and begin to sob. He cried for the first time since that dreaded day. He cried for all the tragedies. His father, his mother, seeing his home be invaded by the Endarkened, and the countless other things.

Kit never let go of Ty. He held him tight as Ty shook with the sobs that wracked his body. Ty had his head pressed into the crook of Kit’s neck. Kit knew his sweater would be stained with tears later, but he didn’t care in the slightest.

After a few moments, Kit murmured to him, “I promise to never leave your side.”

Ty looked at him directly for the first time in weeks then, and Kit’s heart swelled as he looked into his gray eyes. His eyes that were such a stark contrast compared to the blue-green of all of his siblings. His eyes, that in that moment, glimmered with that light. The light of emotion and vibrancy. The light in his eyes was solely for Kit now.

The glimmer of passion and love.

**Author's Note:**

> once again im just now posting this after it existing on tumblr for ages  
> follow me on tumblr: https://lovelqces.tumblr.com/


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